[ Something's becoming tangled in him, what his body knows of this dance and what his heart actually wants. The thought of his heart, dead weight between his ribs that hasn't stirred in centuries-- It's like he's standing on the highest precipice he's ever known with no way to know if he'll survive the fall.
It's one thing when Astarion can pleasure someone else, can ensure that he's--useful, that he's not disposable. It's another entirely when someone wants to pleasure him, and Gale is so earnest, so warm, his kisses burning against Astarion's throat. ]
I-- [ Astarion has forgotten his lines. There's desire, actual desire thrumming in him when he'd truly thought this would just be transactional. Could have been, had he been able to concentrate attention on Gale and divert it from his own needs--needs he doesn't even know how to look at, let alone articulate.
It's almost embarrassing, the shift from easy seduction to whatever this is, Astarion's fingers gently catching Gale's wrist as he gives the slightest shake of his head, his voice soft and a little small. ]
no subject
It's one thing when Astarion can pleasure someone else, can ensure that he's--useful, that he's not disposable. It's another entirely when someone wants to pleasure him, and Gale is so earnest, so warm, his kisses burning against Astarion's throat. ]
I-- [ Astarion has forgotten his lines. There's desire, actual desire thrumming in him when he'd truly thought this would just be transactional. Could have been, had he been able to concentrate attention on Gale and divert it from his own needs--needs he doesn't even know how to look at, let alone articulate.
It's almost embarrassing, the shift from easy seduction to whatever this is, Astarion's fingers gently catching Gale's wrist as he gives the slightest shake of his head, his voice soft and a little small. ]
I think I need a moment?