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[corporeity]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK


USERNAME
@WATERDEEP

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Comments

[corporeity]

[ wow. ]

Or whatever?

1/2

[chipped]

Look, I'm new to apologizing for doing what I gotta do to eat

Spent 100 years being plain evil. Wouldn't have even left you alive about a year ago

[chipped]

And I'm still plenty evil, mind you.

[ Don't get any ideas. ]

[corporeity]

Any particular reason you’re plenty rather than majority evil, at present?

[ maybe a little amused by this designation. ]

In any case, I understand what is it to hunger better than you imagine, so I’ll not begrudge you for your actions.

[ astarion will do that for him. ]

[chipped]

Government put a chip in my head that dampens the evil a bit.

[ The real answer is a lady, but we're not getting into that right now. And there's more to the chip than that, but Spike's not laying all his cards out at jump. ]

Decent of you. Got people holding grudges against me for less than a nibble.

[corporeity]

Sounds invasive.

[ pondering the worm. ]

I do have to insist you refrain from indulging again, though I suspect you’ve already gathered I’m not for eating.

[ what with tasting like garbage and all. ]

[chipped]

Extremely. You ever get tased and wake up in a holding cell? Don't recommend it.

[ Weird things they happen to have in common for $500, Alex. ]

Yeah, your boyfriend took care of that if the taste didn't already

Not to pry or anything, but you might want to get that looked at. Unless you're not human, in which case carry on. Fancy trick to keep predators out of your veins honestly. Like those bugs that squirt nasty smells when you try to squish 'em

1/2

[corporeity]

[ boyfriend (!!!) ]

Astarion spoke to you?

[ 🥺😳🥺😳🥺 ]

Yes, well, regardless
I’m sure it has something to do with the nature of my magical abilities.

[corporeity]

[ a beat. ]

Did it truly taste so terrible?

1/2

[chipped]

Yeah, real charmer

[chipped]

Don't worry, you're not the worst I've ever had. Sometimes you end up biting demons disguised as humans and there's suddenly essence of pond scum and rotten egg in your mouth

You had a little pond scum flavor, I guess. Just a top note though.

[corporeity]

Perhaps it’s an acquired taste.

[ 😔 ]

Do you encounter many demons in your…I hesitate to say line of work. Travels?
Not many here are familiar with multiple non-human species or entities, you see.

1/2

[chipped]

I think Astarion'll turn me into pudding if I try to acquire it, and I can't say I'm tempted. No offense.

Well, yeah. I live on a hell mouth. Demons and other beasties come with the territory.

Most people just don't notice what's around them until they're getting swallowed whole, in my experience.

[chipped]

You said something about your magic, though. So are you familiar? With demons.

[corporeity]

[ It’s all a bit ridiculous, but — he’s pleased to hear that Astarion would care enough to act, all the same. That feeling helps soothe his continued unease about the state of his blood. A natural consequence of not only dying but being consumed, and yet — ]

I’ve had my share of encounters with demons, devils, fiends, undead, and one particularly nefarious yugoloth. To be expected, for the once Chosen.

1/2

[chipped]

[ Only one word catches him here, even if he doesn't actually know what a yugoloth is. ]

Hold on

[chipped]

Don't tell me you're the Slayer here. You???

[ They make wet noodle boy versions now????? ]

[corporeity]

The Slayer?
Heavens no.

[ lmao. ]

I was the Chosen of the goddess of magic.

[chipped]

Oh. [ Phew. ]

Yeah, figured you couldn't be. You don't meet the strength prereq by a long shot. No offense

You notice any women with superstrength carrying wooden stakes around after dark?

[corporeity]

Some offence taken.

You’ll find the general populace here isn’t particularly concerned about vampires. We oft have greater problems than a few individuals with unusual dietary requirements.

1/2

[chipped]

Fair enough.

All the better for me and the other bloodsuckers, I guess

[chipped]

Say, question for you.

[ Given how they met... ]

Is your username because you can't swim

[corporeity]

[ with sincere enthusiasm, ]

Not at all! It’s because I hail from the great city of Waterdeep, the crown jewel of the Sword Coast.

[chipped]

[ ... ]

Right. Good chat

Try not to fall in any more ponds

[corporeity]

[ 🥺 ]

And you.